shit man mine hi card $$ is running low, in urgent nd for a top up soon. guess is all due to mine massive msg-ing to him tis few wks. i cannt believe it man, our msg to each other including his n mine total up to 1000 plus frm the eve of cny till now. OMG!!! bt it felt rly gd to be able to talk to him almost everyday. bt i still wanna be able to go out soon tgt even if its jus for a dinner.

so minor issues cause me to think again. somehow im feeling rly sick n tired of being in constant fear of mine parents finding out abt mine relationship. i fear so much everyday thinking abt consequences if one day they find out n do things to stop it. im actually envy of friends being able to be wit their other partner like nobody's business. is like y cannt mine parents be more open to tis kind of issues rather than staying at their old fashion thinkings of no bf before finishing studies. although they say parents will nv cause any harm to their children, bt sometimes unintentionally they jus cause it.

im 18 alrdy n i dun wan to remain like a noob towards relationship up to 21. i also wan to learn to make major decisions mineself instead of having to ask mine parents every single time. im like a caged bird in the palms of mine parents having to resort to lies n secret means to fly out once awhile. i felt tat somethings mine friends said makes sense too. like the nd to experience life and meeting wit obtacles. jus by teaching me verbally is nth compared to real life experience. for now i felt is time i nd to learn how to be independent. ok maybe nt yet cos exams here soon. maybe aft exams when i start to do mine itp. if i continue to be in tis state, i think im gonna suffer worse in the future, no nd to wait for the time i start work, onces i enter overseas uni i will meet all kinds of things alrdy. jus imagine me being a wild animal taken well care of since birth, given food daily, having a gd life n then one day suddenly released to the wilderness at a certain age having to learn how to hunt mineself, i could say i will nt survive. so in order to noe how to handle any problems coming mine way, i nd to break free n learn.
OLD / NEW